RUSSIA WEIGHS IN ON GLOBAL MILK CATASTROPHE

The Russian defense ministry laughs at the petty squabbles of the French and German governments with their milk and cheese affairs. We are also insulted by the scandalous affair of Francois Hollande's and the Pen. How dairy. We would further like to remind all European governments of one a more superior Russian export beverage, Vodka. Have some of that with your cornflakes!